my 21st bday is coming...

oh my god.. i gonna be another yr older in 10 days..
gonna be 21 this yr.. hmm.. how am i gonna cele my bday in wheelchair? =(
i'm so sad lah.. hais.. frens were all askin.. " how r u celebrating ur 21st bday?"
i'm like so helpless. nth i can do.. dun even thou of goin out. hope i can be on crutches real soon.
at least i am able to move ard easily.

daddy was saying go eat chu chao on my bday =.=" like so auntie loh..!! where got ppl 21st.. eat chu chao 1... zzz... no link man.. lols. boring.. hais. hope everything will turn out fine for me. . =))

i'm recovering at a fast speed le i guess. not much pain. able to turn will slpin .. and also to stand a little now.. but i dun dare to. hahaha!! hmm... was reali depress this period.. but.. like wat javin told me.. everything happen for a reason.. at least.. after this time i know how much my bf cares n loves for me.. haha! funni. but.. it's true oso. =D

well.. hope everything will be fine.

an unforgettable incident. . . . .

been a long time since i last blogged.
well.. recently too many things had happened.
some thing happened that will never be erased from my memory.

on the 6 march . . set of to baby house in a nice n sweet mood.
went to eat lunch tgt wid ben, sen, china n baby. . after that went for mj session at ben house.
everything went of jus as planned. then at nite, we went for movie tgt. a funni movie. =)
who knows.. it was raining soooo heavily after the rain. down pour. thus, decided to go adrian house for mj session till the rain stops then go for supper. hais... everything shld jus end after mj session. on the way for supper.. something happened.. that makes everyone's life changed.. an accident occurred.. the car skidded when cornering.. everything went into a chao. everything is in a mess. so scared. the 1st thing i saw when i opened my eyes is blood. blood all over.. mind is so blank. so blank. then suddenly feel something dripping on my leg. then i turned .. and saw bidian's bleedin profusely. bleeding all over me. nervous. scared. stunned. n my face was oso covered wid blood. it's so bloody. baby is oso injured. he looks bad too. ambulance came. bidian is unconcious. no one knows wat's gonna happen to him. n me.. i am not able to move. pain everywhere. being carried out of the car n up the ambulance tgt wid baby. at that moment.. nth is in my mind. all blank. so afraid. but i din even drop a tear. no idea y. maybe i except it to happen. hais.

been admitted to hospital for 11 days.. all thanks to baby n frens.. makes my day pass faster. baby is always by my side. from day till nite. can see he's reali tired. reali shag. dozing off almost everytime he comes to visit me. hais. till now.. then i realise wat's love. truely from the bottom of the heart. by the side of the one he love 24/7.

now.. bidian has been in coma for more than 2 wks.. no one knows his condition. no one knows when he gonna wake up. reali miss those times wif him n frens. supper n dotaing tgt. shopping n fun tgt. wake up soon..!! we r all waiting for u..!! always a cheerful fren but now.. lying in hospital. hais.. reali miss those times tgt.

as for me.. hurt my pelvis n thigh. can walk for 4-8 wks. wheel chair bounded. hell..! everyday at home.. i'm rotting. baby has been staying most of the days here since i discharge. he's reali caring. reali loving. thank u for everything that u did for me. i know wat u hav done n i reali appreciate it. . reali hope to get well soon n go back to last time life soon. supper, mj session, shopping, movies.. tgt.. as a group... miss those times..... reali.. miss it alot alot.. everything is like so dull n lifeless now. . hais..

may god bless everyone on the road.
may things be back to the past.

distance..

been a long time since i last wrote in blog.
feeling rather unhappi recently..
i dunno wat i expect from r/s.
not sure if i am expecting too much from darls.
but 1 thing i am sure.. he's not reali happi.
before wid me.. he used to have lotsa freedom to do things he like.
but now.. hais.. recently.. i found out he lied to me abt some thing.
he said it's cos dun wanna make me angry then lie to me. sounds beri lame lo.
=.=" lie not once not twice. but countless of times. even in front of me..
he can look at me and lie!!!! wth is going on. how am i goin to trust him.
he ask for another chance.. wat's the use? i wont reali trust him anymore.
after this case.. frenster change. msn nick change.. zz.. wat's wrong now. hais.
giv in oso wrong. dun giv in oso wrong. quarrel always is my fault.
nv his fault. lie oso my fault. zz.. he's the one that break promise but.. blame on me!!
hate it reali alot.

then today.. he went benny bday. not angry wid it.
but.. dun understand y tml morning helping his mama.. still wanna go home late.
later help liao still goin out wid me.. sure like last week.. shout tired again.
where got ppl long long go out shop 1 time.. 6 go till 8+ go home de.
always want to take more pics wid him to keep as memories. but.. he dun even
want. dun appreciate wat i do. take neoprint dun wan. wat oso dun wan.
althou he keep say he love me he love me.. which action he did make him show that he love me?
at home keep psp-ing.. if not slping.. say wat everytime go home from sch can slp de.. but i there so pei me.. lame shit. i not there u oso psp-ing or watching those videosssss =.=" where's the link sia. zz.. hais..

the distance between us is getting bigger n bigger..
i got no idea how to mend it oso. quarrels over quarrels.
how long can this last.. 5 mths of r/s.. but how much memories r there?
wat shld we do to make each other happier? reali lost...

shld we giv each other some time to cool down b4 making a choice?
will adsence reali make the heart fonder?
no one knows..

BORED!

well.. 2 wks reali past so fast.
hais.. i miss my baby.
eating. slping. brushing. all wid him.
supper everyday has become part of our life.
gaining more n more weight! lols.

1st time went clubbing wid baby n his batch of joker frens!
hehe. memoriable. lols!
a promise made by the both of us.
"nv to go clubbing w/o each other."
shall be a gd gal n keep my promise!
hope my baby too ya. hehe.

feel sooooo weird n bored without him. hais.
he's jus part of my life now.
arghhh... i miss him!
he jus nv know how impt he is to me.
always say that he love me more. haha.. lame shit.
but well.. it's better not to let guys know how much we gals love them. =D
this is to protect ourselves from being hurt. SELFISH RITE? HAHAHA.

HOLY SHIT. I AM GETTING MY RESULTS IN 2 HOURS TIME...!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH.. HOPE I PASS >.<"
i dun wanna retain. . .
hais.. hope i can still put up a smile later on. =X
god... pls.. bless me..

home sweet home

WOO.. I AM BACK HOME.
haha. 1 wk everyday wid him.. 24 hours a day.
sticking wif each other. lols.
how wonderful if this kinda of life will nv end.
hehe.. but.. well.. impossible!

quarrelled wid daddy yest jus to stay wif him for another nite =.=
silly me. hais.. monday.. which is.. tml!
gonna stick wid him another 3 days for 24 hours again.
weet. . i am so happi.. wondering will he feel the same =(
wondering when will he be bored of me. haha.

results gonna release soon. hais..
worried. so worried.
wat if i cant graduate?
i will get screwed man. hais..
going SIA to interview on sunday 16/3/08.
hope everything will go smoothly.
I WANNA GET IN.. if not i dunno wat i can work as oso..
slacking for almost a mth.. haha..
well.. let god decides everything for me ba. .

i miss u baby. =)

after a mth..

everything started so quickly..
having so much sweet moments tgt..
at esplande.. watching fireworks..
new yr.. valentine..
everything seems to be so nicely planned for us to let us get closer to each other.
haha..
wondering is it gd or bad.

now.. 1 mth has past..
ever since we r tgt.. we onli nv meet up once.
lols. how can that be rite?
well.. we r jus so addictive to each other.
no idea y.. but jus so.

maybe.. it's reali fate that put me n him tgt.
after so much suffering.. and torturing..
finally found someone who loves me more..
dote me more.. haha..
errr.. like dat say.. abit unfair for him ya?
shld say.. found someone who will reali appreciate wat i do?
haha..

for my baby~
jus wanna tell u baby.. i reali love u lots. =)
no matter u believe or not.. it is reali so much.. <3>
looking forward to 2nd mth.. n more~

happi 1 mth anniversary!

today is me n his 1 mth anniversary!
well.. if not adrian reminded him..
i guess he would hav forgetted.
hais.. but.. we quarrelled over somethings =.="
as usual.. the PAST!
DAMN SIAN LAH...

last time abt his ex.
now.. abt my ex..
i already deleted those pics liao.. jus nv empty the recycle bin wat..
then he keep say say say..
say wat wanna recap those memories..
why not say himself lah..
till now oso cant forget his 3 ex.
fuck up.
if can forget.. wont hate that guy so much..
n wont call them sluts or wat shit lah.
dun understand wat's on his mind oso.
seriously feel like jus a subsitute.

speechless.